Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Stonewatch 2010

Just went to see my doctor. I gave her Stone #1, and she said she would contact the ER for a copy of my CAT scan. After reviewing it, she may refer me to a urologist, which I believe I was supposed to call one after I got out of the ER. Yay for ADD.

So no work for me. It's driving me nuts.

Oh and I have to go pick up drops for the pink eye. My doctor just looked at me and said, "You poor thing. Kidney stones are bad enough on their own!"

So that's that.

Doc is sending my stone off to be analyzed. Will be interesting to find out what kind it is and how to NEVER GET THEM EVER AGAIN.

Firefighter hockey tonight, but I can't go unless someone drives me. I have no friends, so there goes that.

Tonight's gave seven versus Spokane will determine whether or not the Winterhawks move on to Round Two. Fingers, toes and kidney stones crossed.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Kidney stones: about as cool as honeymoon hand jobs.

Well, I've had an exciting week. I had three days off the week before last, and was sick for all of them. Worked Saturday, woke up Sunday morning with a weird, agonizing pain in my left side. I woke my sister up and asked her what appendicitis felt like, but it was the wrong side. I went to see my doctor on Wednesday who told me it was constipation and advised me to get some magnesium citrate and Dulcolax. Or something. I tried that and felt well enough to go to work on Thursday. When I pulled into the parking lot, the pain in my side returned. I managed to stick it out for two hours before I went to my supervisor, who, once I told her I was having horrific abdominal pain, sent me home immediately.

Longest drive home, ever. I pretty much screamed the entire time (40 minutes). I had to pull over twice to puke my guts out. I was home for about an hour before I decided I'd had enough. An ambulance was called and they took me to the ER. It was my first ambulance ride, and my first time in an emergency room as the main event. The ambulance ride was fun. I was surprised when they had me lie down on the gurney. They put a blanket over me and buckled me in and I felt like a tool. My shoes were muddy from walking through the front yard and driveway, and I was worried about dirtying up the gurney. I forgot about all that when the pain intensified, and I just sort of rolled back and forth, clutching my side and going, "UUUUHHHHHGGGHHHH..." The EMT tried to distract me by asking where I was from and where I worked. When we got to the hospital, I expected to just go sit in a wheelchair or something, but they just yanked me out in the gurney and wheeled me up to a room. I scooted off the gurney and climbed onto the other bed.

So then I just curled up into a ball and moaned for a while. A nurse came in and got my info for the billionth time, and I gave her my I.D., insurance card and debit card for the $50 co-pay. Lay there and moaned, lay there and moaned. Another nurse came in and got my vitals. I didn't have a temp but my BP was high.

Lay there and moaned, lay there and moaned. There was a baby crying somewhere, and then the guy in the room next to me started wailing like a fucking banshee. It freaked me out and made the pain worse. Gad, it was awful.

Some guy (male nurse?) came in and asked if I could give them a urine sample. I said I would try, so I went into the bathroom and peed in a cup. "Looks dark," I thought to myself. I put it on the table like the guy told me and someone came and picked it up.

The admissions nurse came back in to return my cards and found me curled into a ball and moaning.

Nurse: Have they given you pain meds yet?
Me: Uh uh.
Nurse: Do you have an I.V.?
Me: Uh uh.
Nurse: Has the doctor been in to see you yet?
Me: Uh uh.
Nurse: ......Huh. Excuse me.

A few minutes later, the other nurse came in to put in an I.V. You know that scene in The Exorcist where they take Regan to the hospital and stick the needle in her neck and blood squirts everywhere? That's what my arm did. I didn't see it because I was --- say it with me --- curled in a ball and moaning. Shortly after that, she said she was giving me some anti-nausea meds, then some pain meds. She was still messing with the I.V. and cleaning up my arm when I realized I was moaning for no reason. The pain had diminished greatly.

In between visits from various hospital people, I had been texting my sister and my friend/co-worker. My sister took the liberty of saving bits of our conversation:

After the pain meds did the trick, I passed out for a while. I was woken up by the nurse when she said, "I was going to ask how your pain level is, but I guess if you're sleeping, it can't be that bad!" I said, "Oh, it's so much better. Thank you." Except my mouth was all mushy so it probably sounded like, "Ozmish budder, tenku."

Passed out again, woke up when the doctor came in and asked me if I'd ever had kidney stones. I said no. He told me that they'd tested my urine and there was a ton of blood in it. My kidney values were good but there were a lot of white blood cells floating around. He told me he suspected I had a kidney stone and that they would see if I could pass it. "You're still a young woman. I don't want to have to take you for a CAT scan, bombard you with radiation if I don't have to." I said, "That's fantastic," and passed out again.

Woke up again when the nurse checked in on me, then again when a tech came in and said he was taking me for a CAT scan.

I started to freak out a bit because the thought of being trapped in a tube is just ... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Luckily, it wasn't a tube. It was a doughnut. I scooted onto a different gurney and the tech told me to lie with my arms above my head. "The machine is going to scan your belly three times. It'll tell you when to hold your breathe."

The bed rolled in, the machine said "Breath in, and hold," blah blah blah. The tech wheeled me back to my room, I scooted back onto the bed and fell asleep. Woke up when the doctor came in. He told me I have two small stones in my kidney, right near the bottom. Long story short, he sent me home with three Rxs: one antibiotic, one pain killer and one muscle relaxer to help push the stones out. He said if the pain meds did nothing or if I had trouble urinating, I should come back in immediately. Blah blah blah. I was given a jar and two strainers and told that I had to strain my urine, put it in the jar and bring it back in so they could analyze it. FUN! I asked the doctor if I could go back to work and he basically said, "You're going to be taking narcotics," I asked if I could have a note to give to my supervisor and he said he would put it in with my release papers.

So basically I'm on vacation until I pass these mothers.

I've had spinal taps, a double hernia and had my leg stretched three inches; I have never been in this much pain in my entire life. It fucking blows, people. Don't get kidney stones. Trust me on this.

I've been straining my urine like a good girl, but so far no stones. I took my meds yesterday morning and slept for over ten hours. I just took another pain pill and it feels like I'm being punched in the head with a pillow. So I'm gonna go to bed. My sister has friends visiting next week and we've got a lot of work to do on the house. Plus, we're working on our sweet pea garden! I wish I had taken good pictures the one year we successfully grew a whole shitload of them. They're so pretty. Our goal is to sell them at the farmers (possibly Saturday) market, along with maybe my photography and my sister's knitting.

Anyway. I'm woozy.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

My peeps.

As usual, I don't have time for a proper update. I just wanted to say that birthdays aren't really a "YAY!" event for me, and I was dreading it this year. But then my friends at work surprised me with yummies and, when I slept too late for the Winterhawks game, Aed went to 3D black light pirate mini golf with me and Sis instead and then took us out to dinner.

Yesterday, I received a gift that ... I can't even begin to explain how much it meant to me. My friend Ed sent me some DVDs. Big deal, right? Well, he sent me Chicago Archives: Best of Chicago Television.

After I wrote to thank him, he told me that our friend Andy, when making him a copy, suggested he make one for me as well, if only for the Chicago Blackhawks footage. Bozo's Circus, Garfield Goose & Friends, Creature Features (!!!!fave!!!!), Riverview, the Chicago Blackhawks, Lake Shore Drive footage (back when it was still actually Lake Shore Drive) -- the music made me cry, Svengoolie, Captain Kangaroo, Son of Svengoolie, Dispensa's Kiddie Kingdom and much, much more. If you didn't grow up in Chicago, this means nothing to you, but it means everything to me. I love living in the Northwest, but I miss home. A lot. .

There's more! Ed also sent me four more Svengoolie episodes!

  1. Captain America
  2. Death Race 2000
  3. Revenge of the Zombies
  4. Night of the Living Dead

I almost shit my pants. ZOMBIES. Ed had no idea how much I love zombies, yet there they were! I can't wait to watch. I'm going to bring my mom over and play the Chicago DVD for her. She'll be so excited to see Riverview.

In closing, my friends are wonderful. Thanks, guys. I love you.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Confutatis maledictis, voca me cum benedictis.

Yesterday, I took my sister to see The Boondock Saints on the big screen. It got a very, very limited release (five theaters) ten years ago. I saw it in 2000 when I was in Florida with my ma. I rented it, on VHS, at Blockbuster and it quickly became one of my favorite movies ever.

Anyway, they re-released it (one night only) for the 10th anniversary, and I made damn sure my sister and I had tickets.

It was playing in two theaters: one in Portland, one in Beaverton. I chose the Beaverton one (though I hate Beaverton with the white hot fire of a thousand suns) because I figured it would be less crowded. When we got there, the place was packed.

It was a great crowd, though. Seemed like there were a lot of fans there, quoting the movie and cheering in all the right spots. The sound went out right before the weapons scene and almost immediately, a guy yelled out, “I’ll have a Coke, then.” I guess you had to have been there (and also seen the movie); it was pretty damn funny. Then people kept yelling out, “Get some rope!” Heh.

After the end credits, they ran a retrospective with interviews and clips/behind the scenes from the sequel. It was interesting, but mostly blah. I think a lot of that has to do with Julie Benz and Clifton Collins Jr. or whoever the fuck he is. I haven’t seen the sequel yet and it has everything to do with them. I’d never seen or heard of Junior before this movie, but I’ve seen Benz in a few things and I fucking hate her. Not her personally; I’m sure she’s nice and all. I just can’t fucking stand her as an “actor.” She sucks out loud. She sucked in her one episode of Supernatural, she sucked in whatever Buffy episodes she was in (I fucking hate that show, too. I watched most of the first season because a couple of friends asked me to give it a chance; I’m still itchy from it.), but she wasn’t half bad in Dexter.

From what I’ve seen of the trailer, it seems like they brought in Benz and Junior to replace Smecker and Rocco, which ... no. Add characters for their own sake, not because you want to the sequel to match the first movie ALMOST EXACTLY. It’s fucking stupid.

I’m still going to watch the sequel someday. I’ll probably have to eat a bunch of Tums beforehand.

The interviews were mostly good, pretty much just most of the guys sitting around, drinking beer and talking about the movies. I was disappointed not to see Detective Alapopskalius.

More to say, no time to say it. Deja vu? I still have to write about 3D black light pirate mini golf, don’t I?

Tomorrow, hopefully, I'll be seeing K.M.R.I.A. Right now, I've got to see someone about a five dollar haircut. Though I like having my hair long again, it's been over a year since I've had it cut, and I'm starting to look a bit homeless.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


I finally figured out how to add another blog to this iBlogger application I've got on my phone.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the words "blog" and "app"? I want to download the DeLorean app, go back in time and kill the hipster asshole who coined the terms. No. I'll go back to the beginning and sterilize his ancestors.

Mom, sis and I went to dinner at EXTREME PIZZA tonight. They didn't have Red Bull on tap, but they did have a giant TV with downhill skiing on a loop.

Ma had a coupon, so we basically got one giant veggie pizza, one small pestotato (?!) pizza and two pops for ten bucks. Good food but I could barely choke down a single slice.

More to say but not here. I'll save this APP for when I'm bored on the train to work tomorrow night. I'll keep you all updated on how many tweakers get on in the free zones, ask me for money and then jump off right before we hit the pay zone again.

Right now, it's time for yoga.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

We're saved.

Can you smell the sarcasm?

I had my yearly review on Monday. I got the highest "marks" the lab boss would allow. In other words, my supervisor wanted to give me a four but the big boss assured her that three was sufficient ("really, really, really good employee"). Whatever. As long as my direct supervisor is happy with my performance, that's all that matters. I got a raise, too. It doesn't make a dent, but I guess it's better than nothing. I got praised for maintaining eye contact when we have staff meetings, which kind of threw me. My whole life I've had trouble looking people in the eye, not because I'm shifty but because I'm afraid of what I'll see in their expression. I've felt like a freak my entire life, and I don't want people to see that and judge me. I know. I have issues. Eh, there was other stuff, how I always get to work a half hour early and I hit the floor ready to work. In summary, I'm awesome but I'll never get paid accordingly because the economy and the giant corporation I work for SUCK.

Some of the girls brought food to work last night as an early birthday treat (for me). Rene got Voodoo Doughnuts for dessert. There were two vegan ones in there, which I took home for me and my sister.

I'm hoping to get tickets to the Winterhawks game tomorrow. I thought I heard about a deal where, if you go to the box office on game day, you can get two tickets for $16, plus a hat. I'm all over that shit. That is, unless I dreamed it. They're going to announce the rookie of the year and MVP, etc. tomorrow night. I think either Chris Francis or Nino should get the MVP, but what do I know?

I'm in a horrible mood. I need to call my therapist but I can't bring myself to waste $50 when I know I need to get Curly Joe's liver meds (which are $80) in a couple of days. I feel bad enough wasting money on hockey tickets, but it's my birthday on Sunday and all I want is to see one Hawks game. I haven't been to any this year, if memory serves. It usually doesn't.